Rating: hard R/NC-17
Warnings: AU, Normal Humans, Child Abuse, Angst, Violence, Rape, PTSD, Prostitution, Under Age Sex, Possible Slash, Probable Homophobia,
Spoilers: there are mentions of character from all seasons but no real spoilers, also I
switch up some relationships and locations as to where people live.
Summary: Dean had been living with a serial killer for twenty-six years, but he already knew that. What he didn't know was how it was going to change
his and his brothers lives. As he grows up Dean struggles to protect his brother and himself. After twenty-six year of this something happens and things in Dean's life begin to change, for better or for worse, well that's yet to be decided.
When Dean woke he could smell food. It was a strange occurrence to awake to. Slowly, he dressed, but before he could follow the sweet smell into the kitchen he had to hide his scar. During the night the makeup had wore off and needed to be re-applied. Dean dug in his duffle for the cover-up. It only took a few minuets to cover the scar. The first time he had covered up his scar was the day after it finished healing. Dean hated his scar, it always frightened people away, and it made his clients not as attracted to him. When the scar was gone Dean ventured outside his room. Ellen was standing at the stove a spatula in hand and humming a tune. Dean knocked on the doorway to announce his presence. Ellen turned and gave him a smile.
"Ya hungry?" she asked. "I bet you are. Woke up this morning and realized that you hadn't eaten a bite last night."
"I was alright," Dean told her. It was true, he was never really hungry after he left a client, and going without food for a day or two was normal for him.
"Well, come, sit," Ellen pointed with the spatula at the small table. "Better start eating before Ash gets here, or else he'll eat all the food."
Dean sat down at the table and Ellen joined him with a plate full of pancakes and bacon. She set them between herself and Dean then dumped some onto Dean's plate. Dean opened his mouth to protest being given so much food, but snapped it shut as he saw the determined look on Ellen's face. Dean began eating and was quickly falling in love with the woman next to him, the food was wonderful. Dean even went back for seconds. Ash then came strolling into the kitchen. He looked hungover, but gave Dean a wink as he plopped down beside him and began to shovel food into his mouth.
"Like a vacuum," Ellen mumbled, then turned to Dean. "So, Dean, what brought you to this part of town? Couldn't find a job in the city?"
"Uh, yeah," Dean lied. "Nowhere wanted to hire me, so here I am."
"Well I like the company!" Ash said happily. "You're much better then Jo, give you that." Ellen slapped Ash's shoulder.
"Who's Jo?" Dean asked as he picked at the last of his bacon.
"My daughter," Ellen said and threw a thumb over her shoulder to point to a picture on the fridge. Ellen and a young blond girl had their arms around each other, smiling wide.
"Jo's boring," Ash leaned over to tell Dean. "Always talks about boys and make-up."
"Oh," Dean said, truly unsure how to hold the conversation. Over the years Dean had found out how to interact with people despite his distrust of most of them. He tried to be friendly, but it was never honest, Dean never allowed himself to be honest with other people, only Sam. He had learned fast that people don't care, tell them you need money or your gonna starve, they'll just walk on by. This facade that he put up in front of Ellen was one he had used many times before. Ellen's laugh turned his attention back to the table.
"Jo's anything but boring Dean. Don't believe Ash, she's just fourteen, and Ash has the attention span of a seven year old." The older women grinned at him.
"Oh," Dean repeated.
"How old are you Dean," Ellen asked.
"Sixteen," Dean said before he really thought about it. He usually lied, said he was older, or younger if that was what the Jon wanted. He regretted telling the truth when Ellen's face tightened.
"Where are your folks?" She continued.
"Don't have a mom, and my dad travels for his work." Dean stared down at his empty plate. He hated telling people about himself, it was always lies.
"Hum," Ellen acknowledged. "How long are you gonna be around?"
"I can leave if you want?" Dean spoke to his plate.
"Ain't askin' you to leave," Ellen gave a little laugh. "Just wanna know how long you can work for me."
"Oh,"Dean replied. "About two weeks."
"Okay," Ellen smiled. "Well I have some repairs to do around the house and in the bar. You any good with fixin' things?"
"I'm alright," Dean told her.
"Great," Ellen said happily. She then shoveled another pancake and more bacon onto his plate. "Finish your food, then I'll show ya' what to do."
Dean's day went well. Ellen give him things to fix in the bathroom and in the kitchen, they were little things and Dean had no problem sorting them out. It was nice to do a job that he knew was honest. He had only a handful of jobs where the wage he earned was made from honest to God hard work. Dean spent more time in the kitchen fixing up the small things, like the squeaking cabinet door and the the slight leak in the sink. At four he followed Ellen back down to the bar where they and Ash began to set up for the night. Ash turned the music back on and Dean found himself humming along to the songs.
Slowly people began to show up. Small groups, then one at a time, and by ten o' clock the bar was full of the sounds of drunk men and tipsy girls. Dean zipped around the floor picking up glasses before the were tipped over or smashed over someones head. He stopped to ask two girls is they needed something when a large hand clasped on his shoulder. Dean jumped and held back a yelp of surprise. He turned and saw the same man from the night before. Dean excused himself from the girls and walked with the man to a quite part of the bar. Dean really didn't want to go with the man, but his hand on his shoulder was tight and threatening. When the man did let go it was only to let his hand trail down Dean's front.
"Can I met you in my truck again?" he purred. Dean paused for a moment. He wanted the money, he needed the money, so he agreed. Dean told the man he would be there in five minuets and that the price was still that same. The man left and Dean went to find Ellen to ask if he could take a break. She found him first.
"Who was that?" She questioned.
"Uh, no one," Dean said, not looking at her. "Could I take a break?"
"Not if you're going to see that man," Ellen said sternly.
"W-what?" Dean said, dumbstruck.
"I'm not stupid boy," she scolded. "And don't you ever think I am. I know what that man comes here for, and you ain't giving it to him."
"But," Dean tried to insist.
"No. Not gonna happen. If you need a little extra money I can lend it to ya," Ellen said matter of fact.
Dean didn't know what to do, he stood there frozen in place partly because of that and partly because of the fear that was creeping into his mind. He was now a little frightened of Ellen. The harsh tone she took made him think of his father. Dean could feel himself begin to shake and tried to quell it down. Ellen took quick notice of the shaking boy in front of her and swiftly took him to the back. She made him sit down and handed him a glass of water.
"Dean, you don't have to worry," Ellen said gently. "I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just...I just don't want that man to hurt you. Do you understand?"
Dean nodded his head but refused to say anything. He tentatively took a sip of the water and glanced up at Ellen.
"Good," Ellen smiled. "You're gonna be alright. But I have to ask, do you do it cause you need the money?"
"Yeah," Dean choked out. "For my brother—,"
"You have a brother?" Ellen cut him off. "Where is he?"
"Summer camp. I need the money to pay for the program," Dean told her never daring to look her in the eye.
"And what about your dad?" Ellen pushed.
"My dad can't afford it," Dean stumbled over his lie. "So I told him I'd pitch in."
Dean could tell Ellen didn't buy any of that story but she nodded nevertheless.
"Alright, I can give you a little extra every day," she said. "It ain't gonna be the same amount as you would get from that guy, but it's honest work. I don't want to see you talking to any of those men again, you hear me young man?"
"Yes ma'am," Dean agreed.
"Good," Ellen smiled. "Now lets get back to work."
Dean followed Ellen back out to the bar. Dean knew he had messed up, he should have never told Ellen about Sam. He never told anyone about Sam. His little brother was a secret to the world that Dean planned to keep for as long as he could. He didn't think Ellen would do anything about Sam but, he didn't know that for sure and he could feel the doubt settling in his stomach.
He didn't see the man anywhere when he got back out to the bar floor, but he knew how those guys thought and figured that when Dean didn't show up he would come back and find him. Dean started to fix his lie to tell the man. He worried over it while he collected the empty glasses that had piled up in the time he was away. Ten minuets later the man came back in and zeroed in on Dean. He worked his way over to the boy and grabbed him tightly by the arm.
"Thought you said five minuets?" the man hissed. Dean was shaking once more and his breath came in short gasps.
"I can't," he managed to get out. "My boss won't let me take my brake."
"Fuck 'em, come with me," the man began to pull Dean towards the door. Dean pulled back a bit but knew that if the man wanted him, he could easily over power him. Dean was about ready to accept what would happen when the man suddenly stopped. Dean looked over and saw a girl standing in his way.
"Dean! There you are." she said sounding very relived. "Look we gotta go, dad's out looking for us. He's even got sheriff Turner with him!" Dean had never met this girl before. She was thin and blond, she looked to be about Dean's age, and the was also something familiar about her.
"What?" Dean ask bewildered.
"We have to go!" she grabbed Dean's free arm as the man let go of his other one. "Kate said the two of them were heading this way. The sheriff is gonna have a shit fit if he finds us here!"
Dean listened as the girl weaved together a lie and watched as the man began to fear the fictional sheriff. The man looked around and left Dean's side and hurried out of the bar. Dean took a moment to take a deep breath then thanked the girl.
"Thank you," he said.
"No problem," she smiled. "I'm Jo, Ellen's daughter. She told me not to let you leave the bar." Dean felt a little ashamed that he would have gone against what Ellen had said but he was thankful for Jo. "Mom said we should go upstairs," Jo said. "Come on we can watch TV."
Dean followed close behind Jo, they walked by Ellen and she smiled at the two then turned to yelled at Ash. When they got up the stairs and into the living room Jo flopped down on the couch and flicked on the TV.
"What'd you wanna watch?" she asked as she flipped though the channels. Dean shrugged and remained awkwardly standing. "Come on sit down," Jo said an patted the cushion next to her. Dean slowly sat down, being sure not to touch her. He watched the screen flash image after image before Jo stopped it on a news channel. There was a story of the UK Prime Minister and his fight to remain the leader of the Conservative Party. Jo watched for a moment then looked over at Dean.
"No one wants to watch the news, so tell me what you like," Jo demanded.
"This is really fine," Dean said. It really was, when he was alone he would watch the news to see if his father had killed anyone. He honestly hated knowing but it was better then not knowing how many people had died at his father's hand. Jo sighed and left the news on. They watched in silence as the story changed to the Taiwan Strait crisis. After a half hour of the news and no words spoken between Dean and Jo, she couldn't stand it anymore. She jumped up and Dean startled.
"Lets make a pie," she said then turned to the kitchen. "Come on Dean," she whined and reminded Dean of Sam. Dean got up and went to the kitchen as well. Jo got out flour and butter and began to tell Dean what to do. He cut up butter while Jo measured the flour. She talked constantly, about anything, he mother, Ash, school, boys. Dean listened. He listened for so long that Jo finally got bored of her own voice and tried to make Dean talk.
"So Deeeean," Jo drew out his name. "You got a girlfriend?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively.
"N-no," Dean sputtered.
"Haha, don't worry I'm just playing with you," she laughed. "Do you live around here? Well probably not cause I've never seen you before, huh?"
"I'm from Kansas," Dean told her. Their pie dough was now finished and Jo stuck it in the refrigerator to chill. Jo leaned against the counter and Dean began to clean up their mess.
"You don't need to do that," Jo told him, but Dean brushed her off, it was the least he cold do. "What are you doing in Nebraska?" Jo asked.
"My dad travels for work," Dean told her.
"Well that's a lie if I ever heard one," Jo scoffed.
"W-what?" Dean's heart sunk.
"I'm a good lier, no strike that, I'm a fantastic lier. I know a lie when I hear one," Jo smirked. "So tell me the truth, I gotta know."
"That—that is the t-truth," Dean stuttered.
"Right," Jo rolled her eyes. "I'll get the truth out of you sooner or later, you just wait."
Jo let the topic go and Dean was thankful. She had him peal and cut up the apples while she rolled the dough and put it into a pan.
"I've never had apple pie before," Dean admitted. Jo nearly dropped the pie crust she was holding.
"What?" She asked with her mouth slightly open in awe. "How is that possible?"
"Just never had the occasion," Dean said a little shyly.
"Well get ready Dean, cause apple pie is like sex, drugs and alcohol had a baby and named it delicious." Jo laughed and then helped him make the apple filling.
As the time passed Dean found himself very content with Jo. Perhaps it was because she was not an adult who was threatening to him, or maybe it was because she acted a little like Sammy. Either way Dean smiled through her stories of her friends and even laughed outloud at an antidote about Ash and the misfortune of finding out he had hit on a transvestite one evening. The pie was cooling in the kitchen and Jo and Dean had moved back to the living room when Ellen and Ash entered the room. Dean tensed, this did not go unnoticed by anyone. Jo stood slowly and asked Dean to help her cut the pie. Dean got plates while Jo sliced the pie. She served everyone a piece and they sat at the table together. Ash was about to shove the pie in his face when Jo stopped him.
"Wait! Dean has to go first," Jo said.
"Why?" Ash asked.
"He's never had apple pie before," Jo whispered like a secret.
"What?" Both Ellen and Ash turned to Dean who went red. Ash dropped his fork and they all stared at Dean until he picked up his own fork and ate the pie. It was very good, better then a lot of things Dean had ever tried. The apples were sweet and the crust was flaky and helped ebb away some of the sweetness. Dean swallowed and looked up to see if he had had the right reaction.
"Good?" Jo asked.
"Very," Dean replied.
With that everyone dug in. Dean listened as the little family spoke. Ellen asked if Jo had a nice time at Rachel's, and Jo replied with something that made Ash groan with annoyance. Jo and Ellen both slapped him on either arm. The girls laughed and Ash complained but Dean could see him smiling as he grabbed another slice of pie. Dean could feel himself relax, he hadn't been this content in years. Without the fear of his father or the worry of Sam looming over him, Dean sunk in the chair and could feel the emotions of the day calm down. When the pie was done and Jo had put the rest in the cabinet, she and Ellen excused themselves to bed. Dean was tired but Ash asked if he wanted to watch a movie, so Dean agreed. They sat in the living room and Ash had left to grab the movie and his laptop. Ash popped in the film and sat down next to Dean and opened the computer. The movie started and Dean realized that it was one that had not come out yet, he had seen billboards for it when he had been driving around earlier that week.
"How did you get this?" Dean asked quietly.
"With my magic skills," Ash smirked.
"Oh," Dean said, not understanding.
"I'm kinda a genius Dean," Ash told him as his fingers clicked away on the keyboard. Dean didn't know much about computers but he knew that Ash's looked different, almost like he had made it himself. Dean turned his attention back to the movie, but he couldn't concentrate on it. He keep glancing over at Ash until the other man had finally had enough.
"What do you need Dean?" Ash sighed.
"N-nothing," Dean stuttered. "I just, just was wondering what you can do with your computer."
"Anything," Ash replied proudly.
"Anything?" Dean repeated.
"That's what I said. I've been working on hacking into the FBI today. Yesterday I got into the CIA, but the FBI has slightly more sophisticated software. Shouldn't take more then a day or two to break in." Ash said with a wink, then cocked an eyebrow at Dean. "Was there something you want me to do? You need a fake ID or somethin'? Cause I gotta say that's kiddie stuff. I rather like a challenge, like getting the President's number and prank calling him, now that was a great day!"
"Could you make someone disappear?" Dean said instantly, then realized what he had said and covered his mouth with his hands. Dean slowly let his hands down and swallowed hard. He believed that Ash would not hurt him, but still the fear lingered. But, this was something he had been praying for, someone who could hack into his life and change it. Dean didn't know how much Ash could get him, but even if he got a little, it was enough.
"Dean you can tell me," Ash said gently, seeing that Dean was now fidgeting and looking afraid.
"Can you erase someone?" Dean nearly whispered. "Can you make someone never be born?"
"Yeah, yeah I could do that," Ash said his voice as low as Dean's. "Do you want to disappear?"
"No, not me," Dean said then looked at the floor. "My brother."
Dean did not know why he was saying these things. He could get himself or Sammy killed by telling Ash this, but this was his chance. Ash had the ability to get Sam out of their fathers reach. Dean knew that he needed to tell Ash a reason for why he wanted Sam to disappear, he didn't want to tell the truth, the truth was never good, but there didn't seem to be a logical lie at hand.
"I need to protect him form my father," Dean began. "My dad hates him, and I'm afraid that my dad will hurt him if he stays with us any longer."
"Does your dad hurt you?" Ash asked after a log moment of silence.
"Yes," Dean said, and then regretted it. The look on Ash's face made him feel sick.
"Dean if you dad is hurting you, you can't go back to him," Ash said and placed a soft hand on Dean's knee, then quickly removed it when he saw Dean's discomfort at the touch. "You can stay here with Ellen, Jo and me, I bet Ellen will even let your brother stay."
"No," Dean said. "I just need Sam safe."
"Sam," Ash muttered. The genius shut his eyes and took a deep breath then faced Dean with resolve. "Okay, tell me what you want."
"Really?" Dean asked not sure if Ash was lying or not.
"Yeah, I trust you Dean and if you think that this is best for you and Sam, then okay." Ash said, although Dean could hear the break in his voice as he spoke.
They spent the rest of the night creating a new identity for Sam. Dean made sure that there was a record of Sam's schooling, and that all his after school programs were recorded in the fake life they were making.
"He'll need a new last name," Ash said.
"Oh," Dean said back and thought about it for a while. "Campbell."
"Okay Sam Campbell, coming right up," Ash said and clicked away on the computer. "Okay what about parents names?"
"Um," Dean paused.
"Never mind I got it," Ash smiled and typed something. "Congrats Dean we are the proud parents of Sammy Campbell," he laughed and showed Dean the screen. Dean could see the fake birth certificate that they were working on and the parents names written there were Asher and Deanna Campbell. Dean gave a small smile and allowed Ash to leave it how it was. Ash then pulled up Sam's real birth certificate and erased it from existence. Dean felt his heart plummet, it was like killing his brother. Ash then proceeded to delete anything that had Sam Winchesters name on it. Any school announcements that mentioned him were gone and replaced by Sam Campbell.
"How much?" Dean asked softly when Ash had taken his hands from the keys.
"What?" Ash responded.
"How much will all this cost?" Dean continued. "Cause I've got a couple thousand saved up and I could get you more but it would just take a while, but I promise I'll pay, I promise."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa Dean calm down," Ash said with a nervous laugh. "It's gonna cost a bit to get these things printed out, like the birth certificate, and social security, but I can cover you if you need?"
"No, no I can pay," Dean said. "How much?"
"Uhh," Ash paused then squinted at the screen and pointed a few times. "Probably four or five hundred."
"Okay," Dean said
"Look I can really pay for some," Ash offered.
"I can afford that," Dean said. "I thought it would have been more honestly." Dean smiled at Ash, and Ash nodded back.
By the time the sun had risen Dean and Ash had complied the complete life of Sam Campbell. Ash told Dean that he would get the papers printed by the next morning, and that they would be as real as fake could be. Dean felt a huge pressure lift from his chest. With these papers Sam was free, free from their father, free from their life. Ash excused himself to his bedroom, leaving Dean alone in the living room. The TV was still on but all that was playing was fuzz, and the random crackle of interference. Ash left his laptop on the coffee table and Dean stared at it. There was the new birth certificate stared back at him. Sam's new name and his and Ash's fake names were all written there and for a moment Dean couldn't believe that this was happening. He was so close to getting away, he figured once Sam was safe and far away he would tell. That or...well, Dean had thought about the other option many times. Once Sam was safe and living far away where their father couldn't find him, Dean was planning on killing himself. The thought had lingered in his mind for so many years that it wasn't as much of a thought more then it was a plan. Dean wasn't sure how he would do it but he was pretty sure he would. This life was so hard and he was only living for Sam and once Sam was gone he would be too.
Dean shut the laptop and got up. He went to the kitchen and began to make breakfast for the others. Since Ellen had been so nice to him, all he could do was return the favor. The smell of coffee drew Ellen from her room. Dean handed her a mug and she sat down at the table.
"Thank you Dean, but you really didn't need to do this," Ellen told him as she took a sip of her coffee.
"It's no problem," Dean told her. He took a plate from the cabinet and placed the eggs, bacon and the toast he had made on it, and gave it to Ellen. The woman smiled and began to eat as Jo came into the room. She hopped into her seat and waited happily as Dean served her.
"This is great!" Jo exclaimed, then turned to her mother. "Can we keep him?"
"Dean's not a dog Jo," Ellen snorted.
"I always wanted a big brother," Jo grinned at Dean, who gave her back a hesitant smile.
"Keep dreaming sweetheart," Ellen retorted.
Dean sat down with a cup of coffee and listened to the two women banter. He didn't mind the comment Ellen had made, sometimes Dean felt like a guard dog. Something who's only purpose was to protect, then when it dies you can get a new one. The girls talked and Dean was drawn back to the time when he and Sam had escaped to Sam's friend Jimmy's house. The comfort and the feelings Dean was having at the moment were about the same as the time he had spent there. This was a family, Ellen, Jo and Ash, they were family. Dean wondered if he would ever get this, then instantly knew he never would, so instead he hoped that one day Sam would.
( Chapter 3: Mian )
( Chapter 1: Obza )